There was a news story recently that said the percentage of the public that “believed in” Global Warming had recently dropped. Is this a popularity thing? If enough of us don’t “believe in” Global Warming, will it go away? Or will it just try harder to make us “believe.”

People are idiots. I should know, having lived among them for more than 50 years. But this latest Green fad with all its sustainability and renewability and carbon footprints and organics is becoming ludicrous.

Really, how insane is it to buy organic New Zealand beef? The carbon footprint on those “Green” steaks are Sasquatchesque. Cows are supposed to be bad for the environment, anyway. Their fart output is destroying the ozone layer, apparently. So let’s all go Vegan.

There’s a nebulous connection between Vegan philosophy and Green philosophy, although not subscribing to either, I’m not exactly sure what the connection is. Something about denying Human Nature in order to improve health and save the planet, or some such hogwash.

But wait, how does going Vegan reduce cow farts? If we stop eating cows, won’t there be more cows just standing around farting? The best way to eliminate cow farts is to wipe out all cows. And while we’re cleaning up the planet, let’s destroy all goats, pigs, chickens, buffalo, deer, and bunnies.

Oh, and get rid of all the cats and dogs, too, because apparently a single domestic cat has the same carbon footprint as manufacturing and fueling a small car. The carbon footprint of industrial fishing is enormous, too, so stop all fishing.

Now, how about the “Veg” part of Veganism? It’ll all have to be organic, of course, but we have to stop transporting it in order to qualify it as truly environmentally friendly organic. Eat only local food. Can’t get coffee other than at the equator? Tough. Rice and corn doesn’t grow in colder climates? Move south. No carrots or potatoes for desert dwellers, and no cane sugar or bananas for Canadians. Green is Mean.

Better yet, eliminate the single largest ecological disaster in the world today: Human Beings. What other animal on this planet would jet its world leaders to and from a Global Warming conference in Copenhagen, drive them around in large cars, feed them imported processed foods, and then claim they’ve made progress in reducing civilization’s carbon footprint?

People are idiots.

Jim Lawter

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