Dear Vin Scelsa,

Me and Razoo Kelley was studying microwave math today until we cooked our brains, though we really want pizza for dinner. It just don’t make numerological sense! If we punch in 95, it cooks for 95 seconds, but if we punch in 100, it only cooks for 60 seconds. Maybe this microwave was made in Canadia, cause isn’t their dollar worth about 60 cents, too? And that’s only cause their money’s printed by Parker Brothers who use cheaper paper than the US Mint. But then mints cost bout the same in both countries, so who nose? Razoo says it’s Canadian metric time, cause he’s pretty shore they count the sands of time 100 minutes per hour, 10 hours per day, so that if your clock stops in Canadia it’s only right once a day, which they seem to have as many of up here, but a lot less knights even though it’s part of the British Umpire, though they don’t play much baseball on account of all they got is hockey rinks and it’s hard to play baseball on the ice cause if you try to slide into second base you end up in left field and the balls would always freeze, but maybe they got heated athletic supporters for that, although the most heated fans are in soccer, and aren’t fans supposed to cool you down, anyway? Where was I? Oh, pizza. Preheat oven to 350… now, is that metric or convetric?

Convection Conversion Forever,

me and Razoo Kelley

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