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Jim Lawter - Opinionator
Six-Eye Jackson - Media Critic
Scrud Kelley - Scam Editor
O. C. DeeDee - List Editor
Broadus - Sponsored Reviews
Hodgepodge Grumblebeak - Graphics Editor
T-Shirt and Razoo Kelley - Common Taters
OmegaSquad – Commentary
Van Clowder - Cat Pix
YOU - Guest Contributors
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By Hodgepodge Grumblebeak, on March 19th, 2010
 Dead US Marines in Fallujah, Iraq Last week when we reviewed the corpse count of America’s Civil War, we noted the recent American death toll in Iraq and Afghanistan as “a comparatively minuscule 5,000-and-counting.” We find even a single death in an immoral war appalling (are there any moral wars?), and we certainly do not mean to trivialize the recent death toll. But aren’t the US Government and the US Press trivializing it by refusing to publish anything more than a list of names?
In the Civil War, we lost over 623,000 Americans in just four years. In Iraq-Afghanistan, we’ve lost 5,000 in nine years. I guess that’s an improvement of sorts. Still, enough is enough, and too much is too much.
Are you old enough to remember that in the 1960s we would see actual injured and dead American soldiers and their foes and collaterally damaged civilians every night on TV? It was enough to rile this nation and put a stop to the insanity.
Where are our photo-journalists today? Taking pictures of Sandra Bullock’s gown at the Oscars? Where are our investigative reporters? Interviewing Balloon Boy and Octomom? Where are our uncensored news sources? When did Barbara Bush’s grotesquely insensitive statement - “Why should we hear about body bags and deaths? It’s not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?” - become the credo for the American Press?
Americans deserve to see and hear the complete truth. In fact, since we’re sponsoring the carnage we are obliged to see and hear the complete truth. Then if America’s voting population deems these wars acceptable, at least we’ll have based it on all the facts.
Hodgepodge Grumblebeak
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By Scrud Kelley, on March 17th, 2010
It’s Saint Patrick’s Day! Heading to the bars tonight? Here’s a trick that’ll blow anybody’s mind. Even if they’re sober. Even if they’re not Irish.
You can let them examine the empty bottle before the trick. Then you make a coin pass right through the glass and into the bottle. Then they can examine the bottle again. It seems impossible, but like all effective scams, there’s a trick to it.
Download the tutorial today and have it well-practiced by tonight.
Coin Through Bottle Trick
Scrud Kelley
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By T-Shirt and Razoo Kelley, on March 14th, 2010
Dear Vin Scelsa,
Me and Razoo Kelley believes that music comes from the soul, so there’s no point in actually to hear it to preciate it.
 Playing 'The Sounds of Silence' Mute-sicians Forever,
me and Razoo Kelley
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By Hodgepodge Grumblebeak, on March 13th, 2010
| This week we have multiple corpses. We can’t see all of the 623,026 American Civil War dead, but some intrepid photographers like Mathew Brady and his proteges took a couple of thousand snaps for posterity. Some in 3-D, no less.
At the time, many of these grainy, out of focus, non-action, black and white pictures were intensely horrific. Today, however, our schools tend to gloss over the Civil War as if it had no bearing on today’s society.
“Only” 407,000 Americans died in World War 2. A comparatively minuscule 5,000-and-counting have died in Iraq-Afghanistan. In only four years of fighting, the American Civil War was by far the most deadly war in US history. The outcome shaped American society which in turn eventually affected the entire world.
The result of the Civil War was a country dedicated to industrialism, strong State governments, equal civil rights, and a propensity to butt into everybody else’s business in order to impose these same ideals on them.
The cause of the Civil War is usually over-simplified as being a fight over the right to enslave human beings. Slavery was just one outrage that helped bring things to a boil. America was becoming divided by industrial vs. agricultural philosophies, differing regional social conventions, Federal law vs. State law, and the last straw: the election of Abraham Lincoln, our first Republican president.
It is a tragic symmetry that Lincoln’s death punctuated the end of the Civil War.
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 War Dead in 3-D
 Gettysburg |
Hodgepodge Grumblebeak
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By Scrud Kelley, on March 10th, 2010
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By Van Clowder, on March 7th, 2010
The Vancouver Clowder grew a bit this week as Malika, a seven month old SBT (purebred) Savannah joined the family. After a few hours of some shyness and required hissing and moaning, the seven girls settled down and cozied up. Bengal Sheba is Malika’s best friend, being that she’s the only one who has as much energy!
By Hodgepodge Grumblebeak, on March 5th, 2010
Nicolae Ceausescu represented a classic case of puny man syndrome. The tiny man became a tyrant to compensate for what he felt - or was made to feel - were personal deficiencies…
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