Dear Vin Scelsa,

Me and Razoo Kelley wants to inductrinate you to this guy what will rant on SnarlyBoodle.com from one time to another. His name’s OmegaSquad, and he’s a real Tyrant. Really Vin, he does battle with other Tyrants to have control over alla our destinies. He even got a YouTube channel, so you know he’s serious. Plus he’s mean to his kids and he can never figure out why he keeps feeding his dog, but then Tyrants don’t gotta account for themselfs much. So anyways here’s some of his thoughts on Chinese take out or something (Razoo says we don’t gotta pay him much mind – as if we had much to pay!).

OmegaSquad Forever,

me and Razoo Kelley

************************************

People Who Should Be Beaten #41
(or Frivilous Lawsuit Beating #13)

by OmegaSquad

The Chinese schoolteacher and the Chinese beautician who are suing CNN for one dollar… for every Chinese citizen, a.k.a. one point three Billion dollars. The lawsuit stems from comments made by Jack Cafferty, CNN’s on air personality who is the rough equivalent of the ornery old guy who lives down the street, yells at kids a lot, and won’t give you your Frisbee back if you accidentally throw it onto his lawn.

Cafferty said that China makes junk with lead paint in it and poison pet food and also said that China is the same group of goons and thugs that it’s been for the last 50 years.

Well, that’s apparently an attack on China’s dignity and reputation. Awwww… did the big multimedia conglomerate hurt China’s feewings?

Yeah, ’cause China’s record of tolerance is gonna win them a lot of sympathy. And besides, it’s not like America doesn’t make fun of a lot of other countries every single day. I mean, even the French are saying “Suck it up, you pansies.”

I really don’t feel like paying China anything. I feel that they’ve been adequately compensated with pretty much all of our manufacturing jobs, a sizable portion of our financial markets, and a good sized chunk of the take out food industry.

Now no-one wants this to drag on forever, so I have been authorized by the United States to negotiate an out-of-court settlement. So China, here’s my counter-proposal: For every American citizen, the United States will give you two fingers.

OmegaSquad,
Tyrant and guest blogger

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