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It Takes Balls to Make Difficult Decisions
| The Celts have been gazing into crystals for more than 2,000 years now. The fact that the Celts – Irish, Scottish, Welsh, etc. – are still around may say something good for crystal-gazing, although it doesn’t explain how the Brits have gotten away with bullying them to this day.
While the crystal was not always in ball shape, the crystal ball has become the most recognizable shape in crystal gazing. Many modern crystal balls are made of glass, but natural beryl crystals were used originally, and natural quartz crystals are often still used today. Many believe that a natural material enhances the clairvoyant properties of the ball. Much training in meditation and getting in touch with the netherworld is needed to see and interpret the crystal ball visions accurately. Or you can get a Magic 8 Ball instead. Invented in 1946, the Magic 8 Ball revolutionized modern clairvoyancy. In fact, we haven’t had a World War since. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The Magic 8 Ball has twenty – count ‘em – twenty responses scientifically designed to answer virtually every question. The magic is in the fact that the correct answer is revealed! |
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| Variations abound today, but be wary of those so-called “magic” balls that have anything to do with Hannah Montana or SpongeBob Squarepants or the Care Bears. Not that our products testing lab has studied these or the High School Musical or Muppet balls. We just can’t imagine how they would solve any of your personal problems, much less reveal universal truths.
No, if you’re going to shell out your hardly-earned money on quality clairvoyancy, we recommend getting some balls to fortify your personal place in today’s world. The Wall Street Guru Ball and the Poker Advisor Answer Ball may some day be regarded as having pulled this world out of its current economic power flush. |
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I would not personally recommend the Sarcastic Ball or the Instant Excuse Ball, as I would hope to keep them out of the hands of jerks, morons, and politicians. Instead, I recommend personal improvement aids such as the Dr. Sigmund Freud Therapy Ball, the Affirmation Ball, and the all-important Date Ball.
Oh, and buy a stand! All the balls mentioned on this page are about 4 inches (about 100 mm) in diameter – even the real crystal ball. Broadus |
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