These Hollywood idiots who tout their events as “green.”

God, I am so sick of that term. As if I didn’t hate these rich pretentious scumbags already, now you make me feel guilty for running my air conditioner while watching your three-hour orgy of ego-stroking and self-congratulation.

The rug is made out of recycled coke bottles. We tore down the set of some failed TV series and used it to build the stage. The entire event is powered by the cast of Celebrity Fit Club running on treadmills.

I don’t give a damn! What I do give a damn about is how you can give an Emmy to James Freakin’ Spader over James Gandolfini.

Environmentalism as a cause is great, but Hollywood has turned it into a status symbol. Instead of being about the green if lush forests valleys, it’s about the green of money. Whether by saving it, or by getting enough exposure and good will to make more of it.

And stop bringing out Al Gore like he’s a conquering hero! The only thing more coma-inducing than your long-winded acceptance speeches is him. If I see him on TV one more time getting some BS award I will hop into the biggest, most gas-guzzling vehicle I can find, drive across country, and turn Hollywood into such an inferno that Antarctica will be a swimming pool in days.

Please stop acting that you don’t want me to use energy. You want me to watch TV so I can see all those commercials. You want me to drive to the movie theater to watch your film. You want me to go to the store and buy your crap.

You know what? I’m starting to get the hang of this green thing. So the next time your crappy award show is on, I’m going to save the planet and my sanity. I’m going to turn the TV off.

OmegaSquad

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