Dear Vin Scelsa,

Me and Razoo Kelley feels like G.I. Journalists cause we just one hour own war of words. See, the editor of this gig wanted us to get better grammar, but whose he two knock our grandparents? And he says if wheat spelt better, weed grow a bigger crop of readers to digest our food for thought, but Vin, we’re really only writing for one guy, and ewe no watt we’re sane. Anyways, he surrendered and won’t change our spellage and stuff. Did you notice this new guy Obama uses his left hand right by un-signing all those right-handed signatures that he-who-must-not-be-named left in the last 8 years? Razoo always says if you can’t write left-handed, only the right-hand’s left. He also says Mr. Potato Head is creepy, not cause they stopped using real potatoes for plastic ones – which is creepy enough – but cause they still got that weird mutant part-human thing going on, using human ears and eyes and stuff. We figure they should go green and finally use all vegetable parts, like ears of corn, potato eyes with onion glasses, angel hair squash, cherry lips, St. John’s Wort nose, hickory nuts, hands of ginger, mushroom caps, palm hearts, and even melons and rose hips for the missus. And let’s not skirt the issue: the spud stud don’t usually wear pants. Creepy.

G.I. Journalism Forever,

me and Razoo Kelley

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