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The Best Cat Toys in Life Are Free

The guy who runs this site likes cats, and he foists them upon us whenever we have one of our little meetings. I used to believe that all guys hated cats, that a guy will only pretend to like a cat in order to get into the lacy wardrobe of a cat’s female owner. But no, this guy really digs cats. Weird.

Anyway, he was expounding recently about the best toys for cats. His basic tirade railed against plastic do-dads and metal thingamajigs that were illegal to sell as kid’s toys but apparently are okay to threaten your kitty with. Furthermore, the packaging never suggests a means to avoid collateral damage to the kids in the kitty’s household.

No, from personal observation he reckoned the toys most enjoyed by felines were balled-up aluminum foil, corks, string, pens, make-up brushes, and the ever-popular cardboard box. Write up a product review, he says. Uh… what?

Well, he asked for it. So I’ll describe the few commercial cat apparatuses I’ve seen around his house. They are:

Catnip-Laced Scratching Pad

This device alone could save your furniture. Cats love to scratch, and they love catnip. This play ramp offers both as well as a bouncy butterfly thingie for good measure, wooing them away from that boring antique living room set. Refresh the pad with some catnip from time to time. When the surface of the corrugated cardboard is fairly shredded, just turn it over for another round.

Feather Rod

This is a grand 3-foot-long rod with a mock bird at the end. The rebound action alone wows the cats, and the jointed bird adds to the excitement with its own independent movements. I’ve seen this rod stuck out of drawers, furniture, stacks of books, scratching pads, and an old Singer sewing machine. Cats will play it to death, which is why 1) they sell replacement birds, and 2) at $6 each, you can afford to buy more than one.

Laser Pointer

You’d be amazed how nuts these cats go over a little dot of light! To think that laser technology has reached its pinnacle as a cat toy. Rather than get the multi-headed laser pointers (cats don’t recognize all the fancy shapes, anyway), concentrate on a durable, comfortable pointer. This model is flat and easy to handle. The batteries won’t wear out any time soon since you can’t accidentally leave it on.

Catnip Mice

Here’s real bang for your buck: 60 catnip mice for about 25 cents each! They even come in a playful cardboard cheese wedge with holes for probing paws. This version comes with brightly-colored mice, which are easier to spot and retrieve from under the refrigerator. Stuffed with catnip, there’s also a little rattle inside to further tease feline senses.

Broadus

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