Dear Vin Scelsa,

Me and Razoo Kelley was in the middle of this huge used car lot when a salesmen asks if we were there to see a car. Well, is Harrison a Ford? Does Tom Cruise? Does Vin use Diesel? Does Linkin Park? Is Richard in Gere? Is Minnie a Driver? Okay, he says, so what make do we like? Razoo asks if there are any cars made outa metal, cause they’re more protectionate. So the salesman says is Elijah Wood? Is Danielle Steel? Is Sharon Stone? Is Chris Rock? Is Ron Glass? So he asks what color we like best, and we say we ain’t into no discrimination. I mean, is Al Green? Is Vida Blue? Is Jack Black? Is Simply Red? Is James Brown? Is Barry White? How about Pink? So we ask if any of his cars get good mileage and he says is Jamie Farr? Is Richard Long? Is Kayne out West? Is Standish Myles? So the salesman asks how we was gonna pay. Well, Vin, we’re Owen more than Clive. We’re more Lean than David. We’re Craven more than Wes. We’re Begin more than Menachem. We’re more Hurt than William. So the salesman got tired of us and made us hit the road instead a idling our time there. I guess that means we’re still like Christopher: Walken.

Johnny Walkers Forever,

Me and Razoo Kelley

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