Heath Ledger winning his “Joker” Oscar was about as surprising as Clay Aiken announcing he was gay.  Heath had a death-grip on the nod, as a matter of fact.  With the perfect timing of following ever-increasing good performances with a sudden death, you, too, can achieve celebrity immortality.  If Heath hadn’t pulled a Bruce Lee (or Elvis Presley, or Chris Penn, or Ol’ Dirty Bastard, or Anna Nicole Smith – prescription drug abusers all), he may have continued on the way of Errol Flynn and Veronica Lake… typecast into oblivion, eventually unemployable, with nobody but creditors at the funeral.

James Dean made just 3 movies – all spectacular – and nailed immortality faster than a Porsche 550 Spyder can whip around a blind curve.  His karma was in such a hurry that he actually garnered two posthumous Academy Award nominations!  Way to go, Jimmy!

Buddy Holly had an even shorter, higher ride before falling from the sky.  In less than 18 months, Holly had three Top Ten hits and one rough landing.  The hits, however, kept on coming, yet Holly never had to take the heat from critics, put his foot in his mouth, or eventually show up fat and grey at Oldies concerts.

Marilyn Monroe’s rise was slower, but she had staying power.  Another prescription druggie, Marilyn’s luck of the draw came just as the crow’s feet were bleeding through the fuzzy filters of the movie camera.

Some icons persist in our memories despite having had long passed their “Best Before” expiration dates.  It’s just not right that Elvis should conjure up the (false-yet-alluring) image of a fried banana sandwich lodged halfway down his throat, and we could have done without seeing a 300-pound Brando wheezing through his lines.  I wonder if they over-indulged due to some form of survivor’s guilt.

Meanwhile, we can’t help but cringe at the longevity of the likes of O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, and George Foreman.  In some cases it seems that clean living – if indeed that’s the culprit – can lead to a steady, gradual decline in fortunes and fame.  Neil Young once whined “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.”  My my, hey hey, Neil, what’s taking you so darn long?

Six-Eye Jackson

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