Dear Vin Scelsa,

Me and Razoo Kelley gotta few questions for you, like if you held your right nostril closed, are you just breathing with your left lung? And why do old people and old furniture smell the same? What’s half a pair of pants called? What’re falls? If they’re made outa plastic, wire they called “glasses?” Why don’t NASA count up insteada counting down, since that’s where they’re going anyway? Who’re mongers? Do animals have Zodiac signs? Since oil and plastics are made from animal fossils, why don’t vegetarians give up cars, planes, busses, roller blades, pens, computers, cameras, TV, and – well, everything? When’re take all? Are Christians really waiting for a 2,000 year old zombie to kick off the Apocalypse? If Gays are homosexuals and Lesbians are homosexuals, are “Gay” and “Lesbian” homosexist labels? Why’re hangars? If eating vegetables makes you fart more and farts cause Global Warming, then aren’t vegetarians destroying our ozone layer? Why do bald men have hairier backs than non-bald men? Who let the dogs IN? Why do people who don’t vote complain about the government? Where’re wolves? Why do they keep asking if the chicken came before the egg when it’s obvious that the rooster came first? Are we there yet?

Curious Forever,

me and Razoo Kelley

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