When an eel bites your hand
With a pain you can’t stand
That’s a moray

When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That’s our mores

When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four
That’s some more hay

When a beam from the sun
Lights the heath where we run
That’s a moor ray

When a sand-coated board
Buffs your nails, yes milord
That’s emory

And our friend Mitch Albom
Every Tuesday would come
To hear Morrie

A New Zealander lad
Sports tatoos by his dad
That’s a Maori

If a glacier’s retreat
Piles up stones at its feet
That’s a moraine

When two patterns of lines
Cross to form new designs
That’s a moiré

The briefest of pauses
In poetic clauses
They are morae

What the palest young man
Needs to get a good tan
That’s some more rays

When Othello’s poor wife
She gets stabbed with a knife
That’s a Moor, eh?

A great whale in the sea
Chases Raymond and me
That’s Shamu, Ray

When a Japanese knight
Used a sword in a fight
That’s Samurai

Ray Charles gained so much fame
That his fans screamed his name
“Sing some more, Ray!”

When the yup bought his Deere
All the neighbors did hear
“That’s a mower, eh!”

When your boat is tied down
To a cleat on the ground
That’s a mooring

When the sun hits your eye
And the moon has to fly
That’s tomorray

When your brother hits you
At the frat with a shoe
That’s some more haze

When you add two plus two
And multiply by two, too
That’s, um, more, eh?

When the puns hit the mind
And they’re all you can find
That’s a foray

When you write a new song
Instead of work all day long
That’s no more raise

When a Canuck named Yute
Takes voice lessons in Ute
That’s no more “eh’s”

When the knife hits your eye
And you must say goodbye
That’s a morte

When your silk looks like ink
That’s been dipped in the drink
That’s a moiré!

In Pig Latin, she’ll sing
And to Heaven she’ll bring
That’s a whore-may!

When you simply confess
You’re divine in that dress
That’s Dior, hey!

When in class you still snooze
Though your funding you’ll lose
That’s a bore-ay!

When you’re tired and frayed
By mistake retail’s paid
That’s an Oy-vay!

If it’s big, brown, and fat
Looks and acts like a rat
That’s a Norway

Not too pleased with my tan,
I got bare naked and
Got some more rays

Though it’s Old French, it’s cool
’Cause you like Pantagruel
That’s Rabelais!

When an eel wants a meal
Bites your heel and you squeal
That’s a moray!

When you toast marshmallows
Place on Grahams, add chocos
That’s a ‘smore

When an eel bites your hand
And that’s not what you planned
That’s a moray

When your horse chews dried grass
And then begs for more, alas
That’s some more hay

When your sheep go to graze
In a damp marshy place
That’s a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine
And you tie up her line
That’s a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests
Like you did all the rest
That’s some more A’s!

When on Mt. Cook you see,
A long aborigine
That’s a Maori.

When your chocolate graham
Is so full and so crammed
That s’more, eh?

When a screen hits your eye
With a strange dpi
That’s a moiré

Milwauk’ goil, newsroom toil
Mister Grant is her foil
That’s a Mary

Man from Ork I think he
Tried to grope Mindy’s knee
Said she, “Mork ‘kay”

Drawfs or dads, Springer cads
And the wives of thse lads
Also go on Maury

Dorothy’s aunt dug for gold
Struck it rich, so I’m told
That’s Em ore

When a taffeta gown
Looks like waves swirling round
That’s a moiré

When you swim in the sea
And an eel bites your knee
That’s a moray

When two patterns combine
In a way serpentine
That’s a moiré

Runs on gas, Goes putt-putt
And your grass, it can cut
That’s a mower eh?

When King Kong has gone flat
Rent the film Vampire Bat
That’s some more Wray

He’s a clown, he’s a ham
And his name’s Amsterdam
That’s a Morey

A New Zealander man
With a permanent tan
That’s a Māori

If yer vitamins be
Mostly C, D and E
Take some more A

Oh, you play ‘What’d I Say’
Very gay – won’t you play
That some more, Ray

My new ray-gun here tries
To put out both your eyes:
It’s a Moe-Ray

When a Canadian shows
You his mother, he goes
“Dat’s my Mawr, eh?”

With the high price of feed,
It’s for farmers in need
That’s some mow hay!

Rachel TeeVee chef pro
Wed Shakespeare”s Othello
Now She’s a Moor-Ray

When you’re a Brontė
And Heathcliff’s far away
That’s a Moor. Eh?

When the sun’s in the skies
And it just starts to rise
That’s a morn. Eh?

Make a white sauce with cheese
Pour it over green peas
That’s a mornay

Do controlled study
Sole survivor’s B
Data’s a mourn A

Should a Parliament need
More “Aye” votes to proceed
That’s a more “Nay”

Prayer to a bird profane
Hebrew words used in vain
That’s a Sh’ma Ra

Zee French bride eez lovely
And her husb, what of lui?
That’s a mari

Dress of blue, 72
Martyr dudes, she well knew
That’s um, a houri

25 gigs per layer
But you gotta go buy a new player
That’s a Blu-ray

If Henry the Eighth
Were of true Roman faith
He’d be a More Rey

Henry the Eight
Lots of eggs and steak ate
Now there’s more Rey

When you visit a cave
But it’s still not your fav
That’s a Luray

When you reach in the sand
And something grabs your hand
That’s a moray

When you swim on the reef
There’s this thing with big teeth
That’s a moray

If you wanna fight back
There’s some shells in the sack
That’s ammo, Ray

When you can’t eat the stuff
It’s not Kosher enough
That’s ham, Murray

The cylindrical jars
Once found in Greek bars
That’s amphorae

Stick your hand in that crack
And you wont pull it back
That’s a Moray

When you watch Dick Van Dyke
There’s a funny little guy
Atsa Morey!

Hear that stirring refrain
On the bagpipes they’re playin’
That’s “The Morain”

He’s a cat with the jive
And he meows for Nine Lives
That’s-a Morris

“Do re me” is a song
Hold the second note long
That’s some more “re”

See that thing in the reef
With the big shiny teeth
That’s a moray

Put your hand in that crack
And you won’t get it back
From a moray

Geological Action,
Caused by Glacial Traction
That’s a moraine.

When you’re swimming in a creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That’s a moray

When you get off your bike
And then go for a hike
That’s a foray

When you read a good book
With a dark spooky look
That’s du Maurier

When an eel reaches out,
And it bites off your snout
That’s a moray

When on Tuesdays you visit
Your old prof. Who is it?
That’s a Morrie.

My Canadian chum
Loves a deadbeat French bum
That’s amour, eh?

When a rock hits your cock
And you’re ready to f**k
Thats a boner

When Mens Rights of Antrim
Need a neat acronym
Thats M.R.A.

When her car’s Chevrolet
And she sings, “USA”
Dinah Shore, eh?

Not in drawers ‘B’ through ‘Z’
So you know it must be
There in drawer ‘A’

Seventeen – seven – six
If with England you sticks
You’re a Tory!

It’s a Welsh hole in the ground
And its wheels go around
That’s Tymawr, aye!

When you step off the reef
And get nothing but grief
That’s a moray!

When something clamps on your toe
And it just won’t let go
That’s a moray!

Charlton Heston and his chums
They’re all firing their guns
That’s NRA

In the War of the Ring,
Aragorn became king
Of Gondor, eh?

A Canadian man
Introduces his mom,
Dat’s me mar, eh?

If a farmer has need
To cut some more feed
He cuts some more hay

If you get all you need
Of Vitamin B
You need More A

When Othello’s brigands
Rape and pillage the land
That’s a Moor raid

When the docs see inside
That the jock’s knee is fried
That’s MRI

When a lobbyist cries,
‘Handguns only SAVE lives’
That’s NRA

When large gold nuggets shine
In Canadian mines
That’s some ore, eh?

When the moon has a sea
Though as dry as can be
That’s a mare

When societal rules
Help us all keep our cool
That’s a more

When a glacier dries out
And leaves rocks strewn about
That’s a moraine

When Hawaiian man eyes
Isle with second-prize size
That’s-a Maui

And the former VP
Who comes from Tennessee
Is Al Gore, eh?

When an English trad song
Has a synth and a gong
That’s Jim Moray

There are chicksat this school
Who make Philly guys drool
That’s Bryn Mawr, eh?

When the joke’s gone so long
It’s a fourteen hour song
That’s a bore, eh?

When the verses don’t stop
Until both eyelids drop
That’s a snore, eh?

When you can’t stand the puns
Anymore, better run!
Might be more, eh?