I haven’t shaved in nearly 40 years. It’s not (just) because I’m lazy, but I truly believe that men who shave are denying their maturity and masculinity. But that’s a topic for another blog…

Not shaving had reduced my morning routine to showering with a bar of soap, slapping on some deodorant, and tossing on some clothes. Easy peasy.

At least it used to be.

This morning, I stepped over a bank of soaps and salves to get into the shower. Shampoo and then conditioner. Body wash and then facial scrub. I toweled down the tiles to prevent mildew, then rinsed the cloth in hot water and wrung it to death to keep it fresh.

Then I toweled myself down. The styling gel goes into my hair while it’s still damp. Antiperspirant has replaced the simple deodorant. Next, a salve to my feet to keep them fresh and smooth. Another facial splash, then medicated eye drops.

Next comes the topical medicated cream that’s supposed to help me live to be 100, which I rotate daily between various parts of my anatomy so as not to “overload my receptors,” whatever that’s supposed to mean.

It’s not “after-shave,” but I cap it all off with a spritz of L’Occitane Vetiver for that hint of woodsiness.

Oh yeah, and the vitamins – all doctor-directed… A, B-50 complex, C plus, D3, E, one-a-day, Co-Q10, Omega-3, cranberry extract, low-dose aspirin, selenium, and even DHEA.

Pull on the clothes, brush the hair, floss and brush the teeth, rinse, spit, and Bob’s your uncle. Or aunt.

When did I become such a woman!? ♫

Oh but I do feel fresh!

Jim Lawter

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